People Watching

Good Morning,

 One of the things I enjoy doing is “People Watching”.  Not in the way that would make someone uncomfortable, (I have seen those kind) but just a casual thing.  Like sitting on a bench at a mall or waiting for a plane at the airport and just taking in the goings-on around you at the time.  While the hustle and bustle as a whole can be its own experience, it can also take on a much deeper meaning and feeling if you start to break it down into the parts.  By “parts” I mean the people or groups of people with what may be a common purpose.

 I think at those times it is important to remember that everyone has a story.  That each person you see, in so many ways, is not unlike yourself in that they too have likes and dislikes, joys and fears, dreams and realities, family, friends and maybe even a few that do not like them so much in their everyday life.  That apart from chance and the luck of the draw from the gene pool, the person could have been your brother, sister, mother, father or friend, well you get the idea.

Once you get beyond looking at people as objects and instead as real people, it is then possible to feel empathy.  With empathy the whole experience takes on a new depth of understanding.  For instance… 

• The mother and daughter shopping together for school clothes she would never have worn herself, as she sees her daughter growing into a woman, the struggles she may be having within herself of letting go of this child into the world as she leaves the nest while feeling the daughters excitement and apprehension of starting a new school year. 
• The two friends (BFF) sharing experiences over a Starbucks, as one appears to be relating with gesticulation a particularly funny moment, while the other with hand over mouth, contains a laugh.  I find myself wishing I knew the whole story, as it must be good. 
• The little boy crying to his mom in an attempt to persuade her through the outburst to placate his desire for something he feels would fulfill his life at this moment.  She with chagrin and “parental love” works to dissuade the boy and bring less attention to the situation.  The mom wins and the little boy is left with displaying a bottom lip that a bird could perch.
• The smartly dressed woman in a business suit walking at a pace not quite twice as fast as the other shoppers.  Carrying a briefcase, not smiling and obviously purpose driven, as she heads toward Nordstrom’s entrance.  Without a shopping bag I am left to assume she is some sort of exec or management on a mission.  Is someone getting the axe or is she just in search of the perfect new item to wear at the next meeting.  I am left wondering how often she does smile and what her life must be like in the “off hours” of her day.  Does she take time to laugh or is that something left behind in her youth.
• The older man is sitting by himself on a bench outside of a woman’s clothing store.  Watching people walk by as he waits for his wife who is inside trying to decide what goes with what and if it will also go with what she already has or will new shoes and a purse be necessary to complete the ensemble.  He smiles as a mother and daughter pass by engrossed in conversation about what the “others” are wearing this year.  He glances across the way at tables set up in front of Starbucks and smiles as he notices the gestures and responses of two young girls talking.  His attention is drawn to a little boy and his mom in what appears to be a power struggle of control, as adult vs. child.  Feeling the stirring of the air as a smartly dressed woman intently talking on her cell phone, breezes by in front of him on what appears to be a mission as his attention moves away from the child and he now begins to contemplate the life and style of the woman.  The wife appears with her new find in bag, I get up from the bench and we continue our day.  Life goes on.    

 Try looking at others with empathy and you will be rewarded with a greater understanding and acceptance of them and yourself. 

 Love, Dad

Photo credit, Matti Matilla